A study says, Women who are not married and don’t have kids, Live longer. It actually blew my mind when I read it.
Women Unmarried and those who don’t have kids, LIVE LONGERRR? They are more healthier and happier.
Till this point in my life It never occurred to me that, it is a Real Thing as Unmarried women and on top of that women who don’t have kids. BY CHOICE? or by any other reason.
If one ask my opinion on it then I guess women may live little more longer, who are unmarried by their own choice and not due to the circumstances.
I didn’t knew, women can have choice not to marry and not to have kids. It is some thing was beyond my imagination till I read the Study. And I now think of it as Why it never came to my mind ever?
When I look at how we girls being told to be like while growing up, I kind of have an idea of what might be the reason.
I have always been told that, I will have to learn cooking. Then when I’ll learn it, I will have to learn cooking better and then I will have to learn cooking for many.
I will have to know how to clean house, dishes, washrooms, cloths. And I will have to look good, not too thin, not too chubby and modest.
I will have to respect everyone in family. And take a pride in serving them.
And Please don’t mistaken this, that all these learnings and trainings are for my own betterment. NO. A big NO. It is for my future husband and In laws.
I get to hear this a lot when I refuse to do any of those or Didn’t do it better,” Who will marry you?”, “What shape of this chapati, can’t you make circular?”, “Ahh, learn it, learn how to make good tea. Otherwise your husband and in laws will say we didn’t teach you anything.”, “You are talking too big, Are you going to talk like this to your in laws and husband?”
“Who will marry you, if you do this and that and not this and not that and if you look like this and not look like that and bla bla bla.
As in I am just born to get married. As if I am born to get married and serve them. As if I am born just to make circular Chapati and good Tea for anyone and everyone. As if I am always someone who have to fit into this “IDEAL” Woman who is just born for a Man.
Men do hear this all often. “You are too thin, bald, you have to earn more, etc.”, “Otherwise who will give their daughter to you?”
Sounds different right? But it means same.
It is like the whole purpose of life is to get married and have kids… for Both Men and Women.
For women, it is being said that when you get married, your husband makes you complete. When you have kids, you will become the woman, you will become a COMPLETE WOMAN.
As if those are the only thing I should always care about. To marry a man and then have kid.
As if until I get married and have kids I am not certified as Woman. I feel the angst in my core when I hear this stuff being told by women themselves to other women.
Cause It is pride to become FULL WOMAN. Till then, I am not woman. I am half woman.
Doesn’t make sense to me.
I don’t and I can’t see marriage as a goal of life. I don’t and I can’t see having kids makes me an honorable woman (as I become FULL WOMAN) in the society’s eye. I don’t and I can’t see a Man as a plan of my life.
I do not look forward to become Full Woman. Because I am already a FULL WOMAN.
There is other argument I get when I present my opinion about marriage and question what is the need of marrying anyone? and I get this back, If not marriage then what will you do?
If a woman is not married then what she is going to do all her life?
I guess there must be a continuous insertion in our brain, that marriage, husband, children, house chores, being always a giver, be someone’s wife, mother, daughter, sister, grandmother and so on, is the only purpose of women’s life. That’s the use of women. That’s what they supposed to do.
Its like Men are born to be Men and Women are born for Men.
For years, it is been feed into our brains and now we are completely wired to it and forgot that there are other options.
And to all who are in doubt, I want to tell them that, If not marriage then What? have ANSWERS.